morris west

nobody said it was going to be easy

that is one very true line, indeed. my grandmother told me

that same quote, one night when my
mother left my father just like that. i don't think
i could ever look at love the same,

after what my mother did.

yet, i still lie through my teeth and tell my girlfriend that

'love her' but the truth is, i just need

someone just to fill the hole that dwells in me.

i don't want to fill it with Jack Daniel and vodka, i want to fill it with

an actual human being.

sometimes i wish i could just could find a way to escape from

this place, start over fresh like a new leaf.

the only safe place is probably the dock, no one rarely

goes there, especially at night

just to slip away from the booming television

'Scarface' and the loud snoring of my father,
looking the same every single day groggy and dirty
the smell of alcohol makes me want to gag
and other stuff that is indescribable.
maybe one day i'll here and find a place of my own,
but as for now i'm stuck here throwing pebbles into the sea
of blackness, i wish i lived there.